What Really Happened at Roswell
By Vince Dingalint
Reporter at large in time and space.
'm reminded of the infamous Roswell Incident that took place back in the summer of 1947. From the time-line from which I'm
currently hiding out in, that incident is now better understood by those who are willing to educate themselves on matters
concerning a growing field of study called "interplanetary evolution." Unfortunately, just like in your time line I must confess the
fact that Creationism has not yet completely died out. You have my sympathies.
But getting back to Roswell, I would point out a seemingly insignificant matter that was never considered in all the drama stirred up
in countless investigations conducted back in the late 20th and early 21st century: There were very few top level brass of the female
gender involved. Had more women been allowed first-hand access to the "wreckage" it is quite likely that a very different
assessment of what had actually transpired would have been made.
Let me put it this way for those of the opposite gender who are still scratching their heads. On our planet there are many examples
of evolution taking interesting twists and turns. Evolution can occasionally do an about face and seemingly backtrack. For example,
sea turtles were once land animals that decided there were better opportunities if they packed their bags and returned to living
within a water environment. However, because their basic biological engineering had been hard coded while they were still land
dwellers, they are forced to crawl back onto land where they continued to lay their eggs. While sea turtles make the best of this
evolutionary modification and try to turn it to their advantage, it is a laborious process, one filled with pearls for the gravid female.
They must drag their ponderous bodies across a hostile surface till they find an appropriate soft patch of sand to lay their eggs.
They must then endeavor to make it back to the inviting arms of the ocean before exhaustion and heat prostration consumes them.
Some don't make it.
Now, consider the possibility that there might exist certain life-forms that have been puttering about the cosmos for millions of years.
Their biological ancestral heritage may have originated on the surface of a planet or within the oceans, but millions of years ago
they decided there would be more opportunities if they packed up their little alien bags and migrated out into the vastness of the
cosmos.
In the great scheme of things, as certain husbands are apt to discover, sometimes driving a screaming mate who is in the throws of
labor to the birthing chambers (aka the hospital) is not always a straight bee-line route. Sometimes the desperate couple have no
choice but to drive over to the side of the road and take matters into their own hands - literally. Combine this with the fact that 20th
century interpretations of what "aliens" look like, how they are supposed to behave, how they are assumed to have been put
together, and finally how they might reproduce... and well, I would have to say that most of top-secret reports I managed to hack my
way into concerning the Roswell incident were downright prudish.
Many men fainted. No wonder they suppressed it.
I must stop transmitting now. I have a hot date with a couple of these creatures... with what some in your time-line might be more
apt to label as couple of hot demons.
By the way, they aren’t green!
- Vince
What Really Happened at Roswell